illustration by @verena_baurer_ill

October Horrorscopes: Healing Emotional Wounds

I’m not one to get political (just, like, non-stop, all day) but it sure seems like one of those so-not-coincidental moments of astrological “what up”-ery as we find ourselves in another wave of he said, she said, women-are-people-too poli-social climate change moments.

That may just be a fancy way of saying that Venus is about to turn retrograde, and we are witnessing that shadow energy play out in the #BelieveWomen moments across the globe.

Healing emotional wounds much? Yeah. Hello October, we’ve only just begun.

While most of the planets were resuming their regularly scheduled batshit channeling in September, Venus (the planet of love, feminine divine, etc.) was gearing up for a retrograde tryst in our good friend, Scorpio.

Venus turns retrograde on October 6th, making all of that planetary love, affection, eye candy, and feminine energy turn more inward. This is a time to examine our place in relationships, even those relationships with our finances and ourselves. In a less Scorpio perspective, it is also a good time to buy antiques or sell off your home goods. However, this is not a good time to hit up an ex, dump that loser you’ve been sleeping with OR start a new dating profile. This is 40 days of reflection on what you want out of your relationships with people, money, and your SELF, and what you need to do once Venus goes back to a direct path again. Deep wound cleansing is possible during this time, or finally getting that regrettable tattoo removed. You know who you are.

Back to my point, as the preeminent yoga horrorscoper in your world (right?), notice the coincidence of this feminine backwards rotation and the timing of certain political events in the U.S. Venus (Aphrodite) wasn’t all about love and sex, she was also known as a Goddess of War by the Babylonians. There are two sides to every coin: he said, she said, and she will cut you. Wait, that’s three sides. How can the earth be flat? Nothing makes sense.

A special note to survivors out there – please take time to breathe and release. There is a lot being stirred up, and you are your best advocate for self-care. Take a walk. Adopt a puppy. Talk to a friend. Be good to you, always.


Darren Rhodes

Mythologically speaking, you kind of got the shaft by Venus. Let it go, Aries. You may feel twinges of that same pain this month, wanting way too much than you have been prepared to give. You can roam the land, sweeping ladies and gents off their feet, but if you cannot back that up with more than a cute smile and a wink, you’re just going to wear out your favorite shoes. Stick to the other love of your life, finances, and worry about the birds and the bees another time.

Aries’ October Asana: Compass


Tara Stiles

Venus is literally your sign. So, as pragmatic and dedicated as you are to your path, this Venus retrograde (in Scorpio) is going to give you all of the rumination energy you need to get to the next level in your relationships (or in your home redecoration). You can even brag about how good you are at this stuff because really, nobody is gonna do it better than you. While you’re off planning your next 57 moves, remember that a relationship only works when there’s more than one person involved. Ruminate, but share your thoughts, lest you end up as the lone bull in the shattered dreams china shop.

Taurus’ October Asana: Reverse Tabletop


Kathryn Budig

Despite your best intentions of having a solid plan in all aspects of your life, this retrograde isn’t going to be your cup of tea. In fact, pour out that cup of tea and just run down a beverage aisle at a store, grabbing random drinks. You have a full month’s permission to just follow your fancy wherever it may lead you. You can think about your relationships, yourself, or your finances, but frolicking through a grocery store seems like a lot more fun, eh?

Gemini’s October Asana: Blindfolded Dancer


Sharon Gannon

Repeat after me, “S/HE IS MY EX FOR A REASON!” In the spirit of those famous words of Montel, do not let the ghosts of your past lead you into a retrograde hope for the future. If you see more reminders or get a drunken text from an ex, take a deep breath and send love to the experience of being with that person, now in the past, where it should remain. Far, far away from your healing/healed heart. You deserve better, crabby cakes. Let sleeping dogs lie. Woof.

Cancer’s October Asana: Lotus


Colleen Saidman Yee

RAWR! Your bite is going to be FIERCE this month. You have a thing for this Venus energy, but it makes you edgy too, especially when it is spinning backwards. Who is going to love and admire you? Why doesn’t your hair shine like it did last year? What more can you POSSIBLY do to prove your super fabulousness? Simmer down tiger, er, Leo.

Leo’s October Asana: Plow


Guru Jagat

Well, September was an interesting change, right? There was a lot of nothing happening, and we all probably got a lot of things done, just by doing zippitydodaaah! But Virgos aren’t one for resting on their laurels, so while we can use the Venus retrograde to dive deeper into our own relationships, maybe we can also start working on building a new brand, finding a stronger voice, or becoming a better… Virgo? Stay tuned!

Virgo’s October Asana: Supine Big Toe pose


Adriene Mishler

The jig is up. What jig? What IS a jig? How does one get… jiggy? Those answers you seek are more elusive than ever. Fortunately, for your birthday month, you get plenty of time to focus on ways to stop up the flow of jig in your world in order to create more jig from the original splotch of jig. This month is your personal kombucha lesson, holding on tightly to the scoby that has become your financial anchor. You’ll be hard pressed (ha!) to discover ways to create new money in your world, skipping that relationship nonsense altogether. Its all about the money, honey.

Libra’s October Asana: Humble warrior


Bryan Kest

Another month, another reason for Scorpio to get moody. The last few months have set you down a path of introspection insanity, and perhaps you are ready to start living your life again, rather than glaring at anyone who walks too close to your bubble. This time, with Venus in retrograde in your sign, you may as well give up and breathe the eff out of those feelings. It always gets better after it gets worse, so this could be the rock bottom you’ve been waiting for.

Scorpio’s October Asana: Chicken dance. Please.


Sadie Nardini

I don’t even know what to tell you. This is a good month, and you’re pretty much in your natural state of being. You may feel more like yourself than ever, even if that “self” looks like a giant turtle with inspirational German quotes tattooed all over its skin. Go with it; your day is definitely coming.

Sagittarius’ October Asana: Crane


Jill Miller (Yoga Tune Up)

HAHA YOU HAVE FEELINGS! Sorry, but the secret is out, AND you have quite a list of people waiting to get with you. Lovers from your past. Friends who just joined Facebook and want you to be in their business group. That dude down the hallway who let you borrow a dollar for a soda at work. The irony of all of these feelings is that you’ll have them and still not find anyone new who is really worth sharing those feelings with. You’ll be battling blasts from your past while wielding all sorts of starry-eyed sonnets, and a true disbelief that you are still YOU.

Capricorn’s October Asana: Standing split


Candace Moore (YogaByCandace)

Venus says you need a pedicure, a vacation, and a weekend of journaling. This is your time to connect with yourself, leaving the rainbow boa and glitter lashes for next month (maybe). You are often so caught up in being fabulous; you forget how incredibly fabulous you are inside. Plus, you can’t let yourself be the true dynamo you are without living through those Joaquin Phoenix recluse-turned-rapper phases. Duh.

Aquarius’ October Asana: Seated forward fold


Shiva Rea

Hey Pisces, guess what? Money still sucks for you. This month, use the retrograde energy to come up with yet another financial plan you can pretend to follow. While you do that, sacrifice a goat (heh, Capricorn…) to the gods or your deities of choice, standing firm in your declaration that you are READY to spend some damn cash on yourself. Then wait, and wait some more. What are 30 more days?

Pisces’ October Asana: Cat/cow. Repeat. All month. Mantra the shit out of it.

Illustration by Verena Bauer, @verena_baurer_ill


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